28 Comments
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Emily P. Freeman's avatar

I’m so glad you wrote this. Thank you.

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Tanya Marlow's avatar

This means so much. Thank you, Emily.

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Linda Hoenigsberg's avatar

Tanya. I cried when I read this, for this has been my experience as well and I didn't have words for it. My husband and I are very medically vulnerable and the messages I have heard throughout Covid were similar to what you heard. Even our church told us we were foolish for masks and not attending during lockdown. We lost four good friends. I'm disabled and spend a lot of time at home, and if friends want to see me, they have to do the driving, etc. It can be very lonely. I thank you for all your spiritual wisdom this morning and I"m going to read those words in Lamentations now. May the Lord richly bless you, Tanya. You have been a blessing to me today.

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Tanya Marlow's avatar

Linda - thank you so much for taking the time to write and share something of how this impacted you. It is SO lonely to be medically vulnerable in the world. I’m so sorry particularly about the friends who abandoned you. Thank you for that blessing, too. May God minister to you as a dove.

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Linda Hoenigsberg's avatar

Thank you so much, Tanya. I don't take your words lightly.

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Sandra Hughes's avatar

Thank you Tanya. I have felt more cut off and isolated since covid and won't go to my Church any more. I do not like to be close to people and they did always seem to be coughing and spluttering. I have given up trying to explain ME to people. Those close to me understand and that is a very small circle. Mostly my daughters. I am not as limited as you are and I am very grateful for how you have described your feelings and how this affects you and your son. Occasionally I am still able to contribute a Friday Reflection on our Church circuit page and for that I am thankful. God Bless you and your family.

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Tanya Marlow's avatar

I’m so sorry for all your different losses. It’s so hard when people don’t understand

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Rosalie Freund's avatar

Thanks for writing this. I wonder how many people will ‘get’ the challenges faced by you and thousands of others who are medically vulnerable. I wonder if these people will ‘get’ that we all live together and are interdependent: that we all need to care for each other. I too was hopeful during lockdown that things would change. It seemed like the required tasks were easy to identify and implement. Somehow the pendulum swung the other direction. I seem to celebrate both the feasts. Hopeful that we can find courage to face each day.

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Tanya Marlow's avatar

Thank you for this - and for getting it.

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Ellen Moore's avatar

Thank you for this. I have experienced long Covid although not as drastically as some as I was helped by the Cleveland Clinic to deal with it and actually overcome some of its effects. Propensity to fatigue will always be with me and if I contract a virus, any virus, it is a long road to getting well again because of long Covid. So I go back and forth between grief and celebration. I am blessed in that my church and family are gracious and understand why I must wear a mask at times or am reluctant to shake hands or hug. Elbow bumps are accepted and I am truly grateful. Our country USA has gone down the tubes in Covid denial and even cutting off research into not only Covid but other up and coming illnesses. It seems as if the government no longer wants its people to survive so that the very wealthy can take over and rule us. So I read about the Apostle Paul, who in his time also experienced intense grief and suffering but always preached hope. So as I read the Scriptures I am built up with hope. May God bless you Tanya, in ways you don't realize and don't expect.

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Tanya Marlow's avatar

Hi Ellen. So sorry that you have Long Covid. I’m really glad your church is understanding (so many aren’t), but I also worry along with you about the state of America. I’m so glad you have that hope - and thanks for your blessing. :-)

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Veronica Zundel's avatar

Much sympathy. I had a 'bad anniversary' in January, 50 years since my brother's suicide in my penultimate term at university. I think I never did my grieving properly at the time, partly because I had to take finals, and partly because I felt a duty to support my parents. I've really only come to terms with it in the last few years, since I enrolled on a poetry MA and started to write poems about him. Also it is about five years since I started to experience recurrent breathlessness, exhaustion and dizziness for which I can't get a diagnosis but which I think is probably Long Covid. All the doctors seem to do is keep repeating the same tests, meanwhile my condition just gets worse. And now my son, who is autistic/ADHD, has had a nasty virus (or two) and seems to be developing similar symptoms to me. He's only 30, barely started in life, was applying for jobs but simply isn't well enough now. With my long term mental health problems as well, it's very difficult to cope! I admire your keeping on keeping on.

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Tanya Marlow's avatar

Hi Veronica - thanks so much for sharing. I’m so sorry to hear about your brother - it’s so weird that grief can be frozen for all that time, and yet makes its way out. I hope the poetry is part of the healing.

And I’m really sorry you’re suffering physically as well as with the depression. And your son… Ach. That hurts.

Sending much love to you.

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Natalie's avatar

Thank you for writing this, Tanya. I’ve had long covid since 2021, and it’s changed my life. There are times when I’m bed bound and have zero energy, and others when I’m doing fine- but I never know in advance one way or the other. It’s frustrating when people dismiss covid and say, “It’s just like a cold, no bid deal” and I want to reply something snarky, but I don’t. I say nothing, but inside I’m thinking about my bad anniversary of Jan 4, 2021 where my health permanently changed, and it makes me want to cry. God has taught me so much in these past four years, and His grace is abundant. Blessings to you!

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Tanya Marlow's avatar

I’m so sorry you have Long Covid - it’s very similar to what I have, M.E., and it’s a horrible illness. I just want to fully acknowledge that loss along with you, and the sadness of that anniversary. Much love.

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Natalie's avatar

🩷

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Jane's avatar

💜🙏💜thank you for sharing this. So important to remember every experience and to embrace in prayer the reality of those we cannot see as well as those we can.

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Tanya Marlow's avatar

Thank you, Jane

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Sharon Hunter's avatar

Thank you Tanya- this is so beautiful- I came through Covid relatively unscathed but I still see the sorrow-& the push to forget is hard to swallow- thank you for your honesty- I lament with you 🙏🏻💙- but also- Hope✝️

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Tanya Marlow's avatar

Thank you for that lament- I really appreciate it.

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Rebecka's avatar

Thank you for the bitterness and gall prayer. I needed it today.

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Tanya Marlow's avatar

Sending you love

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Ann O'Malley's avatar

Thank you for this beautiful article. There’s so much depth here, I could fill this space with a multitude of comments. But I’ll limit my response to one of your “over to you” questions:

Christians rarely give each other permission for both types of remembrance. And yet there it is, right there in the Bible. Both types of remembrance.

I was reading through the little book of Lamentations in 2020. When I read the first verse, “How deserted lies the city, once so full of people!,” my mind instantly lit up with vivid news images of the empty American streets as we attempted to slow the spread of Covid.

Lamentations is a painful book to read. But with all its heavy heartbreak, it also contains the verses that inspired the powerful and comforting hymn, “Great is Thy Faithfulness.” Who would have thought that one of the most depressing books in the Bible would voice some of the most encouraging words of hope? (Adapted from my blog at https://thosewhoweep.blogspot.com/2020/04/overwhelmed.html.)

Thank you for giving us permission to experience and express both types of remembrance, and for being an example of how to do that.

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Tanya Marlow's avatar

Thank you so much for your lovely comment, and your thoughts and observations on Lamentations.

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Diana Trautwein's avatar

This is hard. And deeply honest. And quite beautiful. Never forget who you are - beyond all the awful, the hard, the unending. YOU are lovely, intelligent, articulate, honest, and so very real. Thank you for letting us in, for reminding us that sometimes, life is just plain awful. And yet, working its way up thru the cracks, and the deep crevasses - green sprouts rise! Keep writing, please. Keep telling truth as you live it. We need it. And I think you need it, too.

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Tanya Marlow's avatar

Thank you so much, dear Diana, for your deep encouragement and blessing of me. And for prophetically saying that I need it too. I’m going to chew that one. So grateful for you.

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Cathy Fischer's avatar

As always, right on target. Thank God your son has you to model, validate, encourage and commiserate with his experience. But how isolating. Always wondered about why I identified with you/your blog over the years, just knew that I did. As a single working parent for 25 yrs, I had days and weekends in which I couldn’t get off the couch, and I figured it was just lack of rest. In the past 4 yrs, however, both my adult daughters have been diagnosed with Ehlers-Danlos syndrome, and gradually it’s made sense why I and several others in our family have autonomic “weirdness” (not really POTS), persistent GI issues and chronic pain/fatigue. My 87-yr-old mother has several autoimmune diseases, so I’ve stayed masked in nearly every public setting and have yet to eat inside a restaurant. The responses to my choices are mixed. But I commend you for yours. If we don’t advocate for ourselves, our families and our communities, who will?

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Tanya Marlow's avatar

Thanks so much for writing, Cathy. I know what you mean about feeling drawn to blogs etc without knowing why, and then years later realising that their issues are also my issues! Hoping that the identifying of EDS will be helpful. And kudos to you for protecting your mother.

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